Monday, 25 May 2015

YOU CAN'T DO IT ALL


This past weekend I spent a wonderful few days with my husband, son and my grandparents.  My grandparents are both now in their 80's, however they are both still very active and truly amazing!  I have to admit that since Oscar's birth I have been a terrible granddaughter, I haven't visited them as much as I should have, and I do feel truly bad for that.  I am the most unorganised person in the world, I am late for almost everything, I'm really forgetful and I am the worlds worst for taking on too much.  That little word no, well it doesn't really sit well in my vocabulary, however after this weekend and having time to reflect I realised that it really is time to start using it.

For those that know me, they know that I have this weird addiction/urge/need to learn a 101 things all at once, I've put myself through so many courses and started so many hobbies that I am literally skilled in many things but probably master at none.  From crafting to beauty I've done it all, and whilst I am good at these things I find it really had to stick to just one.  I get bored really easily, and once my boredom sets in I need to find something else to amuse me, it's a trait that I actually don't like.

Because of my excessive "hobbie" lusts, I always end up taking on way to much, stressing myself out and then getting myself really upset.  This weekend, something happened that really got me upset, I had planned something, and then totally forgot about it, it resulted in me having to let someone down, I felt awful about it.  I thought about it the whole weekend and I came to the conclusion that I'd reached my limit, enough was enough and I now needed to focus on the simple things in life, the things that bring me the most joy above all other hobbies and interests - my family!

My grandparents are the kindest people I know, both of them played a huge part in my upbringing and they both hold such a huge part of my heart.  I am definitely a granddad's girl and that man means more to me than anyone would ever know.  When I was in my early teens I would visit them every thursday, as I got older that dwindled away until I hardly saw them at all, months would pass, and that is not acceptable.  I have a large family and I have found it hard to try and fit visiting everyone in, obviously now that Oscar is here everyone wants to see him, which I understand, but my Husband and I are just starting out on this family journey and I want to make sure that Oscar has the best upbringing possible and that he has memories of a happy, fun, family life.  Before he came along I had all the time in the world for hobbies, but nowadays I just don't have the time.  So I'm clearing out that closet of hobbies, shutting them down and simplifying the whole process.  I don't want to be letting people down, I just want to spend my evenings playing peek-a-boo with my son, watching him splash in the bath and then doze of to the land off nod in a milk coma.  I want to spend my weekends making memories that we'll never forget.  I just want to be a mum and a good wife.  I love my blog and although I have been AWOL on several occasions (down to taking on too much) it's the one "hobby" if you like that I will keep, this one is free, I write when I want and if I don't it doesn't affect anyone else.

Sometimes you have to stop, look around, and admit to yourself that you can't do it all, and not doing it all is OK!

Kirsty x

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