Friday, 15 January 2016

A LETTER TO ANONYMOUS FACEBOOK MUMMY

Yesterday I came across a post on Facebook from a new mummy who was having a 'rant', now lets face it, sometimes us mummies need a rant.  Our little bundles of fun are our pride and joy, but sometimes, just sometimes they really drive us cray cray!  Ranting is always necessary, however, the post, which I have popped below, really got me thinking.  Its something I've written about before, that post was called I'd never do that..., the post was about judgement, and how I'd judged other mothers before I'd even birthed a child of my own.  So as I thought more and more about it, I thought back to my judgemental days, and in a way I feel kinda sorry for her, she doesn't quite know what she's in for, so I've written her a letter...



Dear Anonymous Facebook Mummy,


I came across your post on Facebook (like a million others), congrats, becoming a mummy is the best feeling ever!  I am sure your over the moon with your newest arrival, your cute little bundle of joy, I imagine they are eating a lot, sleeping a lot and throwing you the odd poop here and there.  They really are a dream! 

Your rant really impressed me, your only two weeks in and already you have it down, that's goals!, I'm 18 months in and some days I still walk around in a daze wondering what's going on. Some days I even stay in my PJ's all day, like today for example.  This morning I was full of great ideas, I'd get the cleaning done, cook a nice meal from my new shiny cook book, put away the toys (from Christmas) that are still in boxes, clean out the under stairs cupboard, it's been a shit tip for weeks, get on with the ironing pile that's about four feet tall and then fit in some other odd jobs. Guess what?...none of that happened!  I did get the cleaning done though (if hoovering and mopping can be classed as cleaning, lets pretend it is!)

You see, it all went wrong when my son decided at 8.30am he wasn't in the mood to be angel child today, instead he was feeling more like devil child.  Devil child is the worst kind of child, they really know how to push your buttons, I'm learning the art of patience, but I'm guessing you have plenty of that already so you'll be grand!  By 8.45am the contents of his breakfast bowl was on the floor, some of which is probably still under the sofa, and the water that was in his sippy cup was now a massive puddle on the table, which he was blissfully splashing in!  Shouting to get out of his chair, I attempted to remove him...WOAH!  Stupid mummy, he didn't want out, he just wanted to throw an epic tantrum because duh, that's how he was rolling today.  From there, things just went from bad to worse, in-between tantrums and tears I did manage to hoover the living room and bleach the floor in the kitchen, hurrah!

Now I'm not a martyr or looking for any kind of sympathy, but a cuppa tea and five minutes saving grace would do the trick.  So, you know what, I banged on Frozen!  It's only been on 989 times in the last two days but it's the only thing that turns devil child into quiet child for 99 minutes, ok, it's not ideal, but Disney make for a bloody good babysitter from time to time and today I needed them!

I know your only two weeks in and you've got things sorted, but I just want to say I'm here for you, you know, for when the time comes.  I won't judge you or say I told you so, I'll just nod my head and say it's ok, you weren't to know.  It's easy for us mums to make judgements in the early days, our little bundles all angelic and gorgeous, sleeping, eating and pooing with little more than a whimper here and there, but when the day comes when your little angelic bundle is smearing peanut butter all over the walls, and hiding pieces of banana in places you didn't think possible, I wont judge you!  When the day comes that you've just had enough and getting dressed just isn't on the agenda, I won't judge you!  When the day comes when you simply can't be arsed getting the hoover out because you've been up 30 times through the night and you look 90 years older, I won't judge you!  But I will say, it's ok, we are only human and at the end of the day, regardless how we choose to parent, or keep our homes clean, or where we allow our children to eat of an evening, it doesn't matter because we all love our children, we'll keep them safe, clean but most importantly we'll make sure their happy!

So when your ready I'm here...

Kirsty x



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  1. Ah I love the sarcasm but I also love how you've sort of forgiven her! I guess we've all been there but the time will come, no child is perfect, no parent has a heavenly experience every day, that's what makes this parenting malarkey interesting and fun, every day is different and children change all of the time, every day I see something new in Lily. Oh I'm sure we'll see a very different 'rant' from anonymous facebook mummy sometime soon...X X

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